To be very straightforward, it took me a couple of weeks to process the intensity of the rituals and their results, actually longer than I had expected to do so. Many things happened during those days and the aftermath of my workings is still unfolding itself in front of my eyes. Interestingly enough I came to stop writing right before the Venus part. If I observe this fact in hindsight it does make sense. I recently became part of a group that is working with energies correlating at least on the surface with Venus. What is under this surface is a totally different story though and actually it will show itself in my account of the visions I had before I became part of that group. So let’s dive into Venus.
After setting up everything as I used to in my previous workings I enter my state of meditation with the simplest question: What is the most important thing I should learn from you? I’m not asking the planetary energies for anything specific, I’m not looking for trophies. Just keeping it plain and simple.
An image reveals itself. A veiled woman. I am dancing while first terrifying wooden masks appear in front of me, then rocks with painted figures on them, only slightly resembling human forms. There’s the scent of perfume in the air. I see my own nude portraits taken by a photographer last December. I feel silk between my fingers that turn into my own creative work with needle and wool. The images fade and I close the gates.
On the second night everything feels intense. I make an offering by dancing in the temple space as I ask her: How can I learn to use my Venusian part? I receive a pretty straightforward answer in the dream that visits me that night. One sentence: ‘Feed the lion.’
The third night takes up more time than the other two did. I enter meditation with the same question I had on the first night because I still think I am here to learn and not to demand.
In my vision I am standing in a great hall carved of stone crowded with beautiful women. In front of me there is a huge throne of dark granite flanked by two pillars. At the very first glance I only see the woman sitting on the throne covered by a half see-through red veil that reveals enough of her features to perceive her nudity. She doesn’t show her face though, that part of the veil is denser than the rest. A crown sits upon her head, keeping the veil in place. With its sharp pikes it instantly reminds me of Saturn’s crown. The air is heavily perfumed, music is playing in a distance, laughter arising here and there. Only women are allowed to join here. The Red Queen is sitting on her throne, feeling entirely comfortable. She has one of her legs on the armrest of her throne and exposes her vagina openly. She is relaxed, strong, natural and impressive.
I find myself on my knees before her throne because of the sheer intensity of the vision, it is a physical challenge to endure it. This way my attention is drawn to the base of the two pillars that flank the Queen’s throne. One is black, the other is white, just as in the second card of the Major Arcana. But where has the High Priestess gone? She is on all fours in front of the throne of the Queen who uses her as a footstool for her second leg.
As I try to get closer to the scenery the Queen rises and takes a few steps to reach my position. She is incredibly tall. Suddenly her veil is over me, she gently drags me onto my feet and accompanies me to a door in the background somewhere behind the throne. Vision fades and I close.
This third night brings me deep sleep without any dreams to remember. As I am writing these lines I can still feel the intensity of this vision deeply in my heart. Flesh, Body, The Red Queen, by whatever name you call her, she rests upon intuition. She relies upon intuition. Our instincts, our sex, our fears, our revelations, our initiations take place after the outer glamour vanishes, the rawness is exposed without beautifying anything, the old structures are tossed from their thrones but built upon at the same time.
If you feel the crushing weight of beautiful terror and still can be a witness then a door opens up.