Being different.

I can recall pretty vividly being maybe 4 or 5 years old and sitting on a grave of a stranger. It was a beautiful sunny summer day and I didn’t quite understand why my grandmother who was tending her parents’ grave was crying. I knew of course that there were people lying in each and every grave but death seemed a concept being very far-fetched back then. I remember reading a book (started pretty early with that) and enjoying the sun. And the beings around me. They were almost unnoticeable but I just knew that somebody was watching rather curiously what that little blonde girl sitting on a stranger’s grave was up for.

It seemed quite normal for me to talk to and play with invisible beings during my childhood. Maybe I was just a very lonely kid but I like to think it was not only out of necessity I was talking to the land and its spirits. Actually I didn’t invent invisible friends who followed me around and had tea parties with me but rather it was always changing who I was playing with, according to the background scenery. I recall that some of the beings were ‘heavy’ or ‘strangely colored’. Some of them had shapes not even remotely resembling to human ones.

It was much later, maybe in my early twenties, when my interest for psychology came up but I didn’t have the courage to pursue it at university because of my disastrous financial situation caused by some family members. So I went for security and studied law because I knew that with that choice I would be financially okay at some point. Needless to say that it didn’t make me happy at all and after some years my interest in psychology broke through. Eventually I started a training as a psychological counsellor which required a series of sessions with a professional for ‘self examination’ as well.

However I soon discovered that it was a big challenge for me and probably almost every other occultist to talk to a psychologist/therapist/counsellor. Obviously our worldview as occultists makes us different. So how exactly should we be able to talk to a professional about invisible beings and energies and influencing/working with them without being diagnosed as schizophrenic or worse?

So the truth is I kept my mouth shut about certain things during these required self examination hours. It just felt very strange to me because the relationship between a client and a counsellor should be authentic, open and safe. And this is a threshold occultists cannot cross easily with a counsellor who doesn’t share a worldview where it is quite ‘normal’ to talk to invisible beings. I know there are pastors and/or other spiritual advisors but they are often enough stuck within their own spiritual frameworks which is not wrong at all but they probably don’t make ideal counsellors for a magician/witch.

Again, I’m only talking about my own experiences. But I feel that some of us still need assistance sometimes. And actually for me being able to reach out for help is a sign of strength.

Occultist-counsellor is maybe not a profession that’s very common and can’t be looked up in the Yellow Pages. But I have that gut feeling that this is something that’s needed. Being able to talk freely about mundane and magickal things without the pending sword of Damocles above us and having a common vocabulary even if not sharing the exact same belief system.

Being different is a part of our human nature. Being taken seriously, acknowledged as a good enough friend, partner, father or mother, sister or brother, daughter or son, despite of talking to invisible beings and communing with the powers of the land and the universe while reaching out for counsel is something that is very valuable to me. There is great courage in trying to break down old patterns that hinder our development as beings in mundane and/or magickal terms. And as this community keeps growing I think safe havens are needed where we are able to talk about our innermost parts that may tie in with our occult workings. And instead of being judged we need to be supported.

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